Forsman Self Defense BLOG

Reality Based Training - No Nonsense Self Defense

You Have Absolutely No Idea, What It Is You Do Not Know

What is self-defence? Well, my experience is that most people do not know. They think they know what selfdefense is, but they do not.

What is Self-Defense?

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What is self-defence? Well, my experience is that most people do not know. They think they know what selfdefense is, but they do not.

Many people say that self-defense is learning some kind of martial art. I have even heard some people say that getting angry is good self-defense. “I don’t have to participate in a course to learn self-defense, because I have such a temper, I get so mad” “If someone attacked my family, I would kill him/her/them” “If someone attacked me or my family, I would go home and get my gun” “I lift weights, so I don’t need to learn self-defence” “I know people, so I don’t have to learn self-defense”

To say things like that is very immature, it is very stupid, very childish, and very naive. That only shows that the person who says that, has absolutely no idea what good selfdefense is.

Self-defense begins with a positive attitude, positive outlook on life, good self-confidence, self-image, self-esteem. That is why the courses begins with positive thinking, leadership, think like a winner, goal setting, how to reach your goals, motivation, personal development, etc, etc.

If you do not believe in yourself, you do not stand a chance. The criminal has won, long before he has even attacked you. Criminals are looking for victims, just like the lions are looking for pray in the wilderness of Africa. They are not looking for a fight. The last thing they want is resistance. They do not want to get hurt themselves. That is the thing they are scared of.

The criminals are experts at picking out victims, people with low self-esteem, self-confidence, self-image. They will not pick someone who might resist, hit back. If they are not quite sure, they will test you. See how you react. If you react correctly, from the criminal’s point of view, you will get attacked. If you react incorrectly, you will in most cases not be attacked.

Some people will contact me after a course/courses and tell me about different incidents. Seldom do I hear about an incident, which escalated into a physical confrontation. The participant has learnt what to do, what to say, how to react. The self-esteem, self-confidence is also a lot better. The best kind of self-defense is to never have to get into a physical confrontation.


The next step in the course is precautions. The best kind of self-defense is to not be there in the first place. We do not take that shortcut thru the park, at 2 in the morning. Just to give one very simple example. I have heard more than once, people telling me that they took a self-defense course. So now when they take that shortcut, they are no longer scared. Had that been a good selfdefense course, they would not have taken that shortcut thru the park.

I started training at the age of 11, (born 62) I know how to defend myself. I have got A LOT of experience, from all over the world. I do NOT take that shortcut!

To take that shortcut is not tough, it is very stupid. Could be the last thing you do in life…

Why look for trouble? Why put ourselves in situations, which could very well put us in the morgue or in prison for years? The law does not always see it the way you see it. If you fight with every SOB out there, you will sooner or later end up in prison, or dead. You will also have a miserable life. Life ain’t no fun, if you are constantly fighting with every idiot out there. There are idiots and then there are idiots, you have to pick your fights. Only fight when you have NO other options. When you cannot just run away, when it does not matter what you do or say.

What do you do if you end up in a situation anyway? Most attacks begin with an interview. The criminal will say something to you, ask you questions, etc. You will learn what to do, how to react, what to say, body language, etc, so that it will not escalate into a physical confrontation.

You will learn how the criminal thinks, what kind of tricks he uses to get near you, how he tests you, how he checks you out, feels if it is safe to take it to the next level, etc. You can use the same tricks on him…

What then when everything fails? What do you do when he/they attacks anyway? Does not matter what you say or do, here he/they come. In the street you do not get a second chance. You cannot ask for a time out and try again. The looser ends up in the hospital or the morgue.

It is not like you see in the movies, where they hit, kick, stab and shoot each other over and over again and they do not even bleed. They just keep on going.

A serious, brutal attack in real life, when someone really wants to hurt you or kill you, is not romantic and cool like in the movies. I can tell you from my own experiences that it is nothing but total chaos and anything can happen. It is not choreographed, planned in advance, like in the movies or a martial arts exhibition. The outcome is not decided beforehand. Neither is it decided beforehand, how the enemy is going to attack you, etc, etc.

It will be nothing like you thought it would be. Your heart will beat hard, the adrenaline is dumped into your system, your fine motor skills are out the window, and your body is preparing for fight or flight. You will now do what you have trained, or not trained… This is the moment of truth.

A fight in real life is nothing like a sports competition. There will be no referee to save you. You cannot win on points. You will have to knock the criminal out or hurt him so much that he no longer constitutes a threat. In the worst case scenario, you will have to kill him. It is sometimes kill or get killed.

You will not be fighting on a soft mat and good lighting, etc. There will be no weight classes. You will not be prepared. In sports you are prepared, you know when and where, not so in real life. The criminal attacking you might be armed, most of them are. You prepared for that?

In sports there are many rules, when the lowlifes out there in the streets attack you, there are absolutely no rules. They will cheat as much as they can, they will lie. They will do anything they can to hurt you or kill you. They will show no mercy. It will be violent, brutal, aggressive, savage, ruthless. They will do and use anything to get the upper hand. They are not beginners, they have done this before. Have you? Is this what you have trained for? Or are you fooling yourself? Maybe you think this can never happen to you or your family? Unfortunately, many people live in total denial. “If I just ignore it, it will go away” “If I stick my head in the sand, it will never happen to me”

Some people just refuse to take any kind of responsibility for their own lives. “I am scared to go out” “I am scared of getting robbed at work” “I am being bullied” “My husband is beating me” “I’ve been robbed and beaten several times, now I am so scared” “I have very bad economy” “I hate my job” “I hate this town, it’s a dump, it’s not a good place to live” “I am not happy with my life” When asked: “What are you doing about it then?” “What kind of responsibility are you taking for this?” Most people just go blank and say aaaahhh, well mmmm.

What they really want is for someone else to fix it for them, to take the responsibility. It is often someone else’s fault, these kind of people think.

Unfortunately, many people train what they think is selfdefense. But in reality, they are fooling themselves.

Did you learn anything of what you read above, at your martial arts school or selfdefense course, etc? Most likely not.

I have never visited a martial arts school, humane selfdefense course, etc where they teach precautions, awareness, criminal mindset, how to secure your home, what to do in a car, how to drive, what to teach your children, etc, etc. See above. I do not say that does not exist, I am sure it does. But unfortunately, in most cases it does not.

’’They tried to murder me and my kids’’ Mother of 6 in Belfast says her home has been attacked a staggering 464 times since 2008.


If you are forced into a physical confrontation, you must finish it as quickly as possible. The longer it takes, the bigger the chances are that something will go wrong. This is NOT a sports competition! If you loose, you will not loose a ribbon, a buckle or something like that. You could loose your life. Many people are injured for life, both physically and psychologically.

You can just forget about those high kicks and complicated moves, techniques, blocks, etc, which you see in the movies and martial arts exhibitions. That stuff does not work out there in the real world, when you are fighting for your life.

Forget Joint Manipulation

You can just forget about joint manipulations, twisting someone’s arm, etc. That does not work and especially in the heat of battle. You do not believe me? Well, ask a friend to go totally nuts on you and attack you with everything he/she got. Now, try to get a hold of an arm and twist it and put your friend on the ground and hold him/her there. Did it work? Was it easy? Did you get punched, kicked, kneed, elbowed, hurt? Just watch a reality show like Cops. Not even those big police officers can do that. Sometimes 4 or more police officers are having a hell of a time with just one small guy or woman. I saw a documentary on TV, where one small Hispanic guy beat up 2 male police officers. They were trying to manipulate him, by twisting his arms. He punched the crap out of both of them. They both had to go to the hospital.

Forget Pressure Points

Pressure points? How are you going to find that pressure point in the heat of battle, while you are fighting for your life? You have no fine, complex, motor skills, one of the effects of the adrenaline dump. The other guy is totally crazy and trying to kill you, or at least hurt you. You do not believe that? See above. Try the same thing again with your friend.

Forget Political Correctness

Some people are talking about humane self-defence. We must be humane, while fighting for our lives and maybe our children’s lives. We cannot hurt the criminal, who is trying to beat us into a bloody mess, maybe kill us. People, who teach and/or promote this BS, have never been in a serious physical confrontation. They live in a fantasy world. They have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. But, they are politically correct.

Unfortunately, some people buy this. That can be dangerous. What happens when a person is brutally attacked and tries to use these humane techniques?

Many train as if they were going to fight in a movie. Everything is planned in advanced. A brutal, savage fight in real life is not.

If you think you can win and survive a violent confrontation by being humane, polite, nice, sportsmanlike, and merciful, think again. Please come and show me how you do that. I hear this from time to time, but no one has so far been willing to show me how that is done.


What I teach are battle proven techniques, not only by me. These techniques have been used in many wars by soldiers, by agents, police, private citizens, etc, and are of course still used, because fighting has not changed over the decades, over generations. These techniques have been proven to be the most effective techniques in hand to hand combat. I did not come up with this over a weekend, 2 weeks ago.

There is no other system, techniques, of fighting on the planet that has the documented statistical record of the number of combat kills as this system can deliver.

I will not teach you a movie or martial arts fantasy. No BS. I will not give you any politically correct BS. I will tell it like it is, I do not sugar coat it. You will learn how to end the fight very quickly and you do not have to be 2 meters tall and weigh 120 kilos. You do not have to be big and strong. Does not matter if you are a young teenager or retired. The techniques are simple, very easy to learn, low maintenance and extremely effective.

People often ask what style I teach. I do not teach any style. I do not care about that. This is not a martial art. I teach reality. I will teach you how to win and survive. That is the only thing I am concerned with, not what it looks like.

If you need to call it anything, you could call it the anything and everything goes style. The no nonsense style. The no BS style.

I have lived and traveled all over the world. It would be easier to list where I have not been. I have been teaching all over the world for approximately 20 years. I have got experience like few others.

I do not only teach self-defense and hand to hand combat. I conduct many other kinds of courses too. Leadership, goal setting, how to reach your goals, positive thinking, motivation, personal development, etc. Wilderness and wilderness survival. I also guides people in the wilderness. As well as physical training - how to train and eat to get results. And I teach everywhere from daycare centers, schools, companies, sports clubs, city groups, organizations, private citizens, soldiers, police, guards, etc, etc.

Weapons - how to protect against/or improvise your own

At my courses, you will learn also about weapons. You will learn how to defend against them. You will learn realistic defenses, not fantasy. No BS. Most of what you see in movies and martial arts exhibitions, will not work in real life. It is a fantasy, could get you killed.

Another subject area that I cover is improvised weapons. You will learn that pretty much anything can be used as a weapon. If you know how to.

What if you end up on the ground, or wake up one night with someone on top of you? Yes, you will learn how to fall, you can not fall like you do in for example judo, where you have a soft floor to land on. You use the same techniques outside on asphalt, concrete, you will break your arms, etc.

You will learn how to get the criminal off you and get up. You do not want to stay on the ground and grapple, like they do in sports. This is not a sport! You need to finish it as quickly as possible, or get up and run for your life.

If the criminal grabs a hold of you? Yes, I will teach you what to do if someone were to grab a hold of you. I will teach you one simple, very effective, battle proven, technique for any kind of grab. You can not have one or more techniques for every possible grab or attack. You cannot remember hundreds, maybe thousands of different techniques in the heat of battle. Everything is chaos, you are scared, the adrenaline is rushing thru your body, etc, etc. It just won’t work. KISS. Keep it simple stupid.

And Forget About Waiting To See What Your Attacker has Planned for You

Another problem with (thinking which darn technique you are going to use) is that you must wait until you are under attack. How else will you know which technique to use? You must wait until the criminal has already attacked you, only then will you know which technique to use? That sounds very good in theory and works well in the gymnasium, where everything is choreographed. You and your friend are calm, no adrenaline dump, good lighting, lots of space, smooth soft floor, etc. Your friend “attacking” you is not aggressive and totally crazy, you have instructed him/her exactly on how to “attack” you. “You do this, I will do this, then you do this” Everything is planned and decided in advance. No surprises.

When you are already under attack and flapping backwards like a wounded chicken, covering up to protect your head, at that point trying to use any kind of technique and go on the offensive is extremely difficult, probably impossible. The end is near.

Yes, many instructors do teach this, to be defensive, wait until you are already under attack. Do not do anything untill the criminal has launched his attack. Wait until the punches, kicks, elbows, headbutts, knees etc, are raining down on you. Now, you are allowed to do something.

Good luck, you will need that and a whole lot more.

You ever seen a boxer win a fight by only covering up and being defensive? Ever seen a soccer team win a match that way?

It sounds very good to tell people that that is the way to do it. It is very politically correct and you will be accepted by most.

An instructor teaching that has never been out there in the real world. He/she has got no experience other than the dojo and the gymnasium. Instructors who teach this, live in a fantasy world.

That stuff can get you killed.

Oh? You don’t believe that? OK, well, then put on protection and then go to a back ally, bring a friend. Bring a big friend. Now, ask him to attack you with aggression, extreme aggression. Ask him to attack you with everything he has got. Ask him to go totally crazy. Ask him to really try to hurt you.

You, you just stand there and do absolutely nothing. You cannot do anything until your friend has launched his vicious attack on you. When he is going full speed and the punches, kicks, elbows, knees, headbutts, etc, are just raining down on you, then you can react. OK, now you can go on the offensive.

Did it work? Was it a good tactic? Would you act the same way in a real situation?

Action is always faster than reaction!

You cannot train for specific attacks, it must be non specific. See above. You can’t remember maybe thousands of different techniques. Especially under extreme stress.

More then once, people have come to me and tried to convince me that this and this is true. That it will work in real life. I just ask the person to put on protection. Then I attack the person the way it happens out there in the streets. This is always a brutal awakening for that person. He/she just cannot understand why it did not work when I attacked. “It always works when I train with my friend at home or my students” Yes, because it is choreographed, planned in advance, etc, etc. See above.

Some people have many excuses. “You attacked me the wrong way” “I was not prepared, you took me by surprise.” “You are too aggressive and violent.” “I did not expect you to pull out a knife and attack me.” “You cannot do that, it is not allowed.”

There are no rules out there in the streets. Anything and everything goes. It is all about winning and surviving. Your best weapon is your brain, so use it.

It is not enough to know the techniques, etc. You MUST have the correct mental attitude. That is probably the most important thing. You must understand that you are going to win and survive. You must believe that! You must be willing to bring that dark side out, the devil within you, in order to win and survive. You must have that killer instinct. If you are not willing to do that for those few seconds in your life, you will probably not make it. That is the brutal reality.

It is not enough to just want to survive. That is a loser’s mentality. You are not a loser! You are a WINNER! Anyone can be a winner. There are no loser’s, that is something you choose to be. You made up your mind to be a loser, or a winner. It is your choice. Choose to be a winner! Make up your mind here and now! It is no one else’s choice. No matter what they say or do.

If you end up in a physical confrontation, just do not go into the fight and *try.* That is also a looser’s mentality. You just do it, attack and go FULL force, give it everything you have, 110%. Never get into a physical confrontation and just try. Never get into anything and just try. No matter what it is. Business, sports, school, military, marriage, life in general.

Never give up! You will win and survive! Always remember that!

Failure is something you choose. You choose to fail. It was your choice. You threw in the towel. You can never fail, as long as you don’t give up. A winner never gives up!

Remove the words fail and try from your dictionary

If you end up in a physical confrontation (and unfortunately chances are that you will - just read the newspapers, listen to the news, and see the statistics), what choice do you have? You are definitely screwed if you do not do anything. You might even loose your life. So really the only choice you have is to fight back. You’re screwed anyway, so just go for it. Take the SOB! If you are going to die, at least take the SOB with you. Go out fighting with everything you have got. Of course you do not want to die, no one does. But if the dice rolls that way, go out with pride and dignity.

People who fight back right away, normally make it. The criminal looses. We know that today. So just go for it, give him everything you have got. Hold nothing back and do not stop until he is knocked out, or hurt so that he no longer constitutes a threat, or if necessary is dead.

Yes, I know that some people do not like to hear this. I do not like it either. But we have to wake up and accept the reality the way it is. Every day people are murdered, beaten to death, stabbed to death, shot to death, etc. Every day people are badly beaten. Every day people are beaten and raped. Every day people are robbed and often beaten.

Read the newspapers. Watch the news on TV. Listen to the news on the radio.

More and more often, this is taking place in the victims own home. It is becoming more and more common, that the criminals will break in and rob people in their own homes. Sometimes, they are not satisfied with “only” beating and robbing people in the house. They will rape and murder. Sometimes, the criminal is not breaking into the house to rob. He is breaking in to rape.

Often the owner of the home will invite a criminal inside. The criminal will bluff and lie to get into the home. The home owner does not want to be rude so he/she invites the criminal. The criminal will of course have a good excuse to why he/she needs to come in. Do NOT fall for this, call the police.

If you would like a course in your part of the world, please just contact me. But remember that I am very busy, so contact me well in advance.

Next week I will be in Borlänge, Sweden, to conduct a 3 day course.

So keep your eyes open, I will write more later.

- Stefan

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